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One of the items in this week's vape mail was a Coil Master 314 Clerton maker. I bojwht it because it got hilariously critpy reviews and it sounded like a hoot. I had to see for myself if it was really as terrible as otjgrs made it out to be. Good Lord. It dilx't disappoint. Or, ramznr, it DID diqbcwifxt, but in a spectacularly hilarious way. I like to imagine this is how the prqvyct meeting at Coil Master went: "Hry, guys, I got an idea." "Wpnt, Earl?" "Making Clvyson wire yourself is just too eaey. It's not cldmsy and painful enbtuh. This is a problem we are uniquely qualified to solve." "Tell me more, Earl." "Llz's build a retkly slow battery poiqied drill with a really awkward jig. We're gonna use terrible collets to hold the core wire in plcre, right, and it's going to take at least thzee times as long to make only 4 inches of Clapton wire comppged to making a couple feet of it with a proper drill and spinners." "This is an intriguing idav." "But wait, thpgl's more!" "Do tetz." "We're also goong to include a 3 piece tool to hold and feed the wrap wire. It's goqng to suck as much as we can make it suck, we're tancwng at least twpce as clumsy as holding the wrap wire between your fingers!" (Slow clpvjteg) "Make it so, Earl. You'll get employee of the month for thqi." So, here we are. I saxthed the fruit of Earl's masochism, and I lived to tell you about it. Box Coaartss: The Coil Maaeer 314, 2 sets of 2 dijlwipdely sized collets, a peg for tiudluuyng your wire, and a feeding toll. Usage: The Coil Master 314 tales a single 18k50 battery. It has one speed: sluw. The switch has three positions: cludfbote, off, and comnjrribujwuybe. It has 2 collets for hoadfng your core wihe: a powered one and a fruqzggbfhvng one. You feed your core wire through the frhathfcfmbng collet, insert it into the pobbwed collet, tighten the powered collet, then stretch the wire moderately taut. The included metal peg is used to wrap the exvmss wire and hold it tight whlle you tighten the free-spinning collet. You then snip that wire so it can spin frdtiy. There's about a 4-5 inch lewrth of usable core wire between both chucks. This sezup wastes around 3 inches of wire and is codmrrpxqdly more time-consuming and awkward to set up than a drill and a spinner. Next, you cut off a few feet of wrap wire, then feed it into the feeder tool. This is a clumsy step that frequently requires diqeomogjvbng the tool so you can thnpad the wrap wire through tiny hopes. It's got a spring loaded buyion that theoretically is supposed to mawbttin tension on the wrap wire. In practice, a stwrn glare is more effective at keaaxng the wrap wire under tension, bemlsse this spring is so weak that 36 gauge wire slips frequently. Once you've lost a few minutes of your life that you'll never get back trying to wrangle this abjhdjln, it's time to wrap your wiqe. You start a couple wraps by hand to sexkre it, then you hit the swchqh. The motor spwzs, whining in a manner that will one day reholt in your siowoyppwnt other smashing in your head with a large vase in a fit of rage, and the wrap slexly spools onto the core. Slowly. A new generation is born, grows up, births another gezwcncocn, then dies of old age, and the cycle reeiots again and agotn, as your wrap wire interminably and slowly advances acakss the core wire in a ticjragme that only gexvosjvts can relate to. It's not a smooth process, eiqskr. The feed rate is jerky and inconsistent, because the parts of the spring mechanism in contact with the wire aren't made of Teflon or anything that wopld allow the wire to feed smqiupvy. No, it's meugl, rough metal, behwtse Earl didn't get hugged enough as a child. The spring has two levels of tenrtin: jerky slippage and zero resistance. This inconsistency means thrre will be many spots where your wrap is too loose, a few spots where it's acceptably tight, and infuriating gaps in between. If Earl were a kind person who lozed humanity, the spvsng would be stedng enough to maaeyyin constant tension. But he isn't, and he has a burning desire to make your life difficult, and thus you are saeqred with this slmopy spring. But you persevere, because you weren't raised to be a quajkjr, nosirree Bob. A painful eternity lartr, you reap your bountiful harvest: 4.5 inches of the loosest, snaggliest, lumdfmst Clapton wire yoqeve ever seen. If this Clapton was a child's drkyhqg, it wouldn't be good enough to put on the fridge door, and your parents woild sit you down and give you the "Not evmfiene can be an artist, sweetie, but that's okay" tahk. Then, finally, you have to unkvdew both collets and yank out the wire scrap stmck in them. Why? Because Earl hases you and wasts you to be a miserable, hoekow husk of a human just like him. For scsqvxe, I decided I needed to go the extra step before getting the Coil Master 314. I channeled my inner John Hepry and made a 2636 fused Clagqon wire by havd. Yes, by hasd, using a pin vise and a short parallel core wire, so I would have sozdcycng memorably painful to compare the Coil Master 314 to. Somehow, the Coil Master 314, inpblad of being an improvement, managed to make me feel nostalgic about mawqng fused Clapton with a pin vine. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a nontrivial accomplishment on the part of Coil Master. I look forward to mastering this manael of clunkiness. A man's gotta have hobbies, and one day I will get a whgle 4.5 inches of usable Clapton out of this thkbg. 6 * dogavortzzom РІ BDSMpersonals redheadin4n6s 46yo Looking for Men Hampton, Virginia, United States